So far, I've been enjoying the opportunity to spend my days (and into the evenings) with a friend of mine and her family. She has the sweetest boys...6 years old, 3 years old, and newborn. Awe, I could just eat 'em up with love! The middle boy (I'll call him Wee-One for this story) is so sweet, caring and sensitive to others; he said something today that pretty much made my world stop for a moment in time.
Picture this if you will...
His mom, grandma and I were sitting on the couch enjoying conversation while Wee-One was playing in the room, too, talking to himself, asking us questions from time-to-time and then continuing to play. I rather enjoy watching kids play like that. It makes me nostalgic for such innocence and freedom to be a child. When, it seemed as if out of the blue, Wee-One asked me if I had a daddy... yep, just like that, my world seemed to stop for a moment while my mind and heart pondered how to answer the innocent question from one of God's children. Since my dad's passing 9 months ago, I have answered many questions about my dad's death. And I have told the story of Dad's battle with cancer many times. But none of those times caught me off-guard like this question from a child with such innocence in what he was asking me. I answered him with a bit of a lump in my throat, "Not anymore, Sweetie." And thank goodness his mom came to the rescue and finished off the answer with, "He's with Jesus...Jesus wanted him to be up in Heaven with Him; just like my daddy is with Jesus too." (paraphrased)Wow!...tears started welling-up in which I quickly tried to pull them back.
That emotion has not reared it's head in a few weeks, I thought to myself.
With such an innocent question from Wee-One, I realized I will forever have unexpected moments and emotions at unexpected times about my dad. I am learning through my journey, when I put all my cares and worries to the Lord each morning He will provide comfort for me throughout the day. Several scriptures give me this assurance:
(Matthew 11:28-30) "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
(Philippians 4:4-7) "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
(Romans 15:13) "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
I am like a child wanting the comfort of my Father when these unexpected emotions hit. In these nine months of Daddy's passing, and my one-month since beginning my grief-journey, I have learned to lean into the pain, and memories, and then lean on Him to find my feet again to keep walking the journey. I will always have a spot on my heart where I miss Daddy, but it won't always be a painful wound. It can be an innocent question from a small child in which a friend helps me recover the answer so I can keep walking on.
My Spring Break is just beginning! I look forward to seeing how much more I will grow in Christ's little lessons of comfort from Him with the most unexpected of deliveries...like that of the Innocence of God's Wee-One.
With Jesus' grace, Terri